Frequently Asked Questions
Learn more about KinkSync's mission, privacy, and safety.
Open sign-ups — limited time trial
KinkSync normally operates as an invite-only, closed network. We are temporarily allowing open sign-ups while we test this onboarding flow. Some of the FAQ answers below reflect how the app will work once invite-only mode returns.
What exactly is KinkSync?
KinkSync is a specialized planning tool designed to help you find scene partners and negotiate play at specific events. Think of it less like "social media" and more like a digital clipboard for your scene logistics. It helps you find who is looking for what at a party and provides a guided framework to negotiate limits, desires, and aftercare details before you play.
Is this a replacement for FetLife?
Absolutely not. We designed KinkSync to be a companion to FetLife, not a competitor. We don't host detailed personal bios, walls, or social feeds. In fact, we rely on your FetLife profile to help others identify you. Use FetLife for your social connection and community vetting; use KinkSync to handle the mechanics of planning your scenes.
Is my profile and scene data public?
No. KinkSync is built on a "Privacy First" architecture.
- No Public Browsing: Member profiles and scene cards are never exposed to the open web — only the listings of public events are visible without an account. Everything about you requires signing in to see.
- Gated Events: Your "Scene Cards" (the posts saying what you want to play) are only visible to other vetted users who have access to that specific event.
- Private Negotiations: Your detailed negotiation sheets are encrypted and visible only to you and your scene partner.
How is my email address used?
Your email address is kept private. It's used only to sign you in and to send you notifications (such as scene requests, messages, and vetting activity). It is never shown to other members and never appears on your profile.
Some members prefer to use a dedicated email address just for kink, kept separate from their everyday identity — a simple extra layer of privacy.
Is the "Scene Sheet" a legal contract?
No. The "Agree" button and the resulting Scene Sheet are communication aids, not binding contracts. They exist to ensure you and your partner are on the same page before the scene begins. Consent is continuous. You, or your partner, can withdraw consent for any activity at any time, for any reason, regardless of what was clicked or "signed" in the app.
Why do I need an app for negotiation? Can't I just talk?
You absolutely can, and should! KinkSync is not a replacement for verbal negotiation; it is a facilitator for it. In the loud, high-energy environment of a party, it’s easy to forget to ask critical questions like "What are your hard limits?" or "What do you need for aftercare?" Our Negotiation Wizard guides you through these questions to ensure nothing is missed, allowing your in-person chat to focus on connection rather than logistics.
What does it mean to be "Vetted"?
The "Vetted" badge means that one community member has personally vouched for this person — that they've met them in real life, verified their identity, and believes them to be respectful. That's it.
- If you are Vetted: You can create Events, post Scene Cards, initiate negotiations, and invite others.
- If you are NOT Vetted: You can browse Events and respond to Scene Cards.
⚠ Vetted is not a safety guarantee.
The badge reflects one person's subjective opinion. KinkSync does not conduct background checks, independently verify anyone's history, or endorse any user's safety. The vetter may have limited information, and their judgment may be wrong.
Always do your own research. Check their FetLife profile, ask mutual connections, and trust your instincts.
How do I vet a user?
Vetting is a critical mechanism to improve the safety of our community. When you vet a user, you are vouching for them.
To safely vet a user, you should:
- Know them personally: You have met them in real life.
- Verify Identity: You have confirmed that the user account you are vetting belongs to the FetLife profile ID they are claiming.
- Assess Safety: You believe them to be a safe and respectful member of the community and not a safety risk to others.
I'm organizing a private party. Can I use KinkSync for my attendees?
Yes! This is a core feature. You can create a private event and generate a single "Batch Invite Link" to send to your guest list. This allows your attendees to join KinkSync, get vetted by you, and start matching and negotiating scenes before they even arrive at your party.
Can I upload photos (like reference pics or STI results)?
No. KinkSync does not host user-uploaded images. You can paste links to images (from Imgur, etc.) in your notes, and we will generate a preview. We encourage you to discuss STI status verbally or show results in person.
Is this a dating app?
No. KinkSync is strictly for negotiating BDSM/Kink scenes at events. While you might form connections here, the interface is built around "Scene Cards" (specific activities you want to do) rather than "Dating Profiles" (who you are looking to date).
Can I use KinkSync for professional or paid sessions?
No. KinkSync is strictly for non-commercial, volunteer play. Any solicitation, discussion of rates, or exchange of money for services is a violation of our Terms of Service and will result in a permanent ban.
What is Kinky Truth or Dare?
A members-only party game for in-person groups, found under Truth or Dare (the card icon in the header). One player asks another "Truth or Dare?", draws them a hand of three cards from the shared deck, and the other player picks one to answer or perform. Dares come in two spice levels, and full instructions live on the game page.
You can also write your own cards: they stay private to your deck by default, or you can offer them to the shared library, where they're reviewed anonymously before other members see them. Downvoting a drawn card means it never comes up for you again. Everything in the game follows the same consent rules as the rest of the site — a dare is an invitation, never an obligation.
What is the Newsfeed / news ticker?
The scrolling headlines under the header come from the Newsfeed: KinkSync announcements plus curated kink-adjacent reading (sexual health, legal news, relationship writing) gathered from public sources around the web. Articles are automatically collected and scored for relevance, then published daily; clicking a headline opens the newsfeed, and each article links out to its original source.
These are outside publications, not KinkSync content or community posts — we don't write them and don't endorse everything in them.